Thankful For a Year Like This

O God, 

As I reflect on the past 12 months, have I ever had so much to be thankful for? 

I’m thankful for water walking. You’ve led me out into the deep where this heart had the chance to sink. But I’ve known the surge that comes with finding you faithful. That place where trusting you is the only option. Have I ever known you so sure. Found you so able. Praise your Holy name, you keep me above the waves and show yourself gloriously capable. Others wonder how. I know the Who. 

I’m thankful Your plans are not my plans. A year ago I was still moaning the loss of my dream to adopt from foreign places. Today I hold a baby born down the road from mine. Sweet Jesus, your plans are good. I’m grateful they can’t be thwarted, even by my stubborn ways. Thank you for moving my heart to be in tune with your own. 

I’m thankful you quiet me. When I’m on the floor in a heap because he might go back, you cover my form with your hand and transmit peace unthinkable. I could not have known your help if I had not known this pain. I would not have experienced your calm if I had not known this storm. 

I’m thankful for children who astound me. Every time they dote on him, or love on each other, or act like our family is normal, I’m reminded that your plan is big enough to include all of us. That you have made it well with their souls, and not just mine. That you will care for them, just as you do me. Thank you for working in my children, and drawing them into your ways. 

I’m thankful you do not let me walk this road alone. Thank you for church ladies who hold him in the nursery and tell me they pray for him the whole time. Thank you for family that has made our mission their own. Thank you for a husband whose heart beats and breaks just like mine. 

I’m thankful for the way you exploded my spirit with your love through a butterball giggle box that drools like a leaky faucet and breaks my heart with his grin. Would I have known how badly you wanted me if I had not feared losing him? Bless you Jesus, for giving me a greater glimpse of your relentless love. Seeing you more fully is the delight of my life.  




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